Healthy relationships have the potential to enrich our lives and enhance our self-worth. However, unhealthy relationships can destroy our self-esteem and rob us of the joy in life that we truly deserve. It can be difficult to accept that a lover is not treating you with the dignity and respect that you deserve. It is even more devastating when you are not safe in your relationship. The key to knowing if you have a healthy relationship bonded by true love is to distinguish true love from abuse. The following questions will help you examine your relationship with your partner and determine if you are in a safe and healthy relationship or an abusive relationship worth escaping.
(1) Are you afraid of your partner?
(2) Are you afraid to say “no” to your partner?
(3) Do you avoid activities, topics, or people because you fear you will anger your partner?
(4) Does your partner make you feel like you can’t do anything write?
(5) Does your partner make you feel like you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
(6) Does your partner tell you that you are crazy or you need therapy?
(7) Do you feel emotionally numb or helpless?
(8) Does your partner make you feel like you can’t find someone better?
(9) Does your partner humiliate you often?
(10) Does your partner intentionally humiliate you in front of your family and friend?
(11) Does your partner yell or scream at you?
(12) Does your partner curse at you or call you demeaning names like “slut” or “bitch”?
(13) Does your partner criticize you or put you down?
(14) Does your partner treat you so bad that you are afraid for others to see?
(15) Does your partner make you feel like you should be treated badly?
(16) Does your partner ignore your feelings and opinions?
(17) Does your partner ignore you when you are speaking?
(18) Does your partner minimize or ignore your accomplishments?
(19) Does your partner blame you for his/her behavior?
(20) Does your partner treat you like property?
(21) Does your partner treat you like a sex object?
(22) Does your partner refuse to let you make your own decisions?
(23) Is your partner hostile?
(24) Does your partner have an anger problem?
(25) Does your partner have an unpredictable temper?
(26) Does your partner threaten to hurt you or kill you?
(27) Does your partner threaten physical violence?
(28) Does your partner threaten to kill you if you leave?
(29) Does your partner threaten you with weapons?
(30) Does your partner keep money away from you?
(31) Does your partner keep you down financially?
(32) Does your partner follow you around?
(33) Does your partner check your telephone records?
(34) Does your partner monitor your computer usage?
(35) Does your partner refuse to give you privacy?
(36) Does your partner control everything you do?
(37) Does your partner force you to have sex?
(38) Does your partner humiliate you sexually?
(39) Does your partner force you to do things you don’t want to do sexually?
(40) Does your partner respect you when you don’t want to be touched sexually?
(41) Is your partner violent during sex?
(42) Does your partner destroy your property?
(43) Does your partner intimidate you?
(44) Is your partner excessively jealous?
(45) Is your partner possessive?
(46) Does your partner control what you do and where you go?
(47) Does your partner keep you from your family and friends?
(48) Does your partner limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
(49) Does your partner put a time limit on you when you are away from him?
(50) Does your partner constantly check up on you?
(51) Does your partner prevent you from working?
(52) Does your partner sabotage your career or education?
(53) Does your partner steal from you or take your money?
(54) Does your partner harm your pet?
(55) Does your partner interrogate you?
(56) Does your partner attack or insult people that you care about?
(57) Does your partner check the mileage on your car?
(58) Does your partner limit what you watch and what you read?
(59) Has your partner ever threatened you at work?
(60) Has your partner ever hit or beat you?
(61) Has your partner ever beat or hit you with objects?
(61) Does your partner force you to stay awake or get up from sleep?
(62) Does your partner force you to do degrading things?
(63) Does your partner treat you like a servant or slave?
(64) Does your partner unreasonably accuse you of flirting or cheating?
(65) Does your partner use a physical disabilities against you or put you down for your disability?
(66) Does your partner throw objects in your direction?
(67) Does your partner spit at or around you?
(68) Does your partner flaunt affairs that he/she has had with other men/women?
(69) Does your partner criticize you sexually?
(70) Has your partner ever slapped, choked, kicked, punched, or pinched you?
(71) Does your partner shove, bite, spank, scratch or grab you?
(72) Does your partner throw, slam, burn, or restrain you?
(73) Does your partner wrestle you?
(74) Does your partner smash, break, or throw objects around the room?
(75) Does your partner tell you how to dress, where your make-up, or hair?
If you answered “yes” to any of the questions listed above, you may be in an abusive relationship. Please contact 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for more information.
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